I would die three years early n i wud lead alife as my parents wish. This was the promise that i bartered with god for some happiness.Mistakes are never involuntary they are acts directed by our subconscious minds choreographed with perfection comming with a bang when matters.Duvidha is the word which came out in its real colours today , punched me , slamed on the floor, raped me and made me feeel what its real meaning was. 

i want to die in your arms,

i want to close my eyes n sleep,

 i want to lie in that apple orchad with redflowers adorning me,

i want to he see those little sparrows chirp near me, 

 but wait  i cant do so,

 wait there's someone there,

wait she's calling me,

Wait i can see he's eyes wet,

she's screaming me to stop,

she isn't saying a word but his voice is bursting my ears,

standing there on that road its just he n she, she n he 

i can feel it, i can see it,

may be its not my time to go,

 may be some other day

 may be some other time

Feeling reeally low.......LOSING days......LOST going to a very imp exciting place... feeling really baddd

i don't knw y, i dont knw how

    Luving u wasn't an option,it was  like the last drops of water, it never harms if u dnt drink them bt resisting is equally difficult. lost a lot of things because of u, lost my friends , lost my mind, i wish, i had some time left to me, to know wat i really wanted to do , how to do.. i lost my mind....i lost my hope, acting your dream partner, it  made me forget ME, i lost me  in the fake dream of getting you.
   Now i stand liberated, free , proudly speaking of us, proudly declaring that yes i was diched  , yes i had falen in love, yes i m a used withered guy you knw the fact of going out to the world and shouting out loud bout our relationship helps me vent a big part of my frustration on nt beig able to share the worst of the feelings to my mom, my sis , my buddy, mayb that could hav helpd may b tht could have made a diffrnce in the situation rght nw........................

                                     .............but dude u knw somthin i really miss you ,
i dunno if is this love bt its somethin really close  to love bt nt love, u dnt deserv evn n inch of it....in some sense evn i dnt bt yes i kept my words dude u didnt do nethin to deserve this.....
i don't knw y, i dont knw how....
                                  ...............but i still love u........
                                                                        ...a lot.........